From me to you.

Dear Chinese Adoptive Parent,

While in China,

I give you permission to:

1. Eat junk food you never would at home. 

Maybe you are vegan/paleo/whole food/lo carb/insert way of eating here. When you are in China it is ok to hide out in your hotel room scarfing down Pringles and twinkies. They call it comfort food for a reason. 

2. Watch tv shows you would never (admit to) watch at home. 

If it is in English and makes you less stressed go for it. Eating cup 'o noodles for lunch while watching Korean soap operas with English subtitles is ok. 

3. Overpay for souvenirs. 

Sometimes you can bargain, sometimes not. I personally am not very good at bargaining. I try, get a little discount and both the merchant and myself feel like we won. Plus how often will we be in China? I need that ( insert tacky item here). 

4. Think China is wonderful/weird. Probably at the same time. 

They call it foreign for a reason. Just remember they are older and bigger than us. 

5. Overpay for convenience. 

Upgrade to a bigger hotel room. Pay for executive lounge privileges. Whatever it takes to get you. 

6. Not wear makeup. 

At home maybe you never leave your house without full on face but on your adoption trip it is full in survival mode. You will never see most of these people again and the rest of the people in your travel group are too jet lagged/busy gazing at their new child to notice. 

7. Use or pass up a squatty potty. 

I promise you we all feel the same way about them. There is no judgement either way. 

8. Take food from the breakfast buffet for later. 

Yes that is a banana in my pocket. 

9. Ask stupid questions. 

We were all wondering the same thing probably. 

10.  Talk to strangers in elevators. 

        If you get on an elevator and see a Caucasian family with an Asian baby it is perfectly acceptible née even expected to make small or not so small talk. You have joined a very special fraternity enjoy it. 

11. Think you got the best kid in China. 

You'd be wrong because I got the best 3 in the whole country but go ahead and think that. 

One day left!

Today is our last day in China!  Tomorrow morning we leave the hotel at 5:30 am(5:30 pm for those of you at home) and take a van to Hong Kong. 

For those of you who know my sister, we tease her about having carcalepsy. That is if she is a passenger in a moving vehicle she falls asleep, almost always. Her namesake(she and Betty-June dare the middle name Dareline ) has the same syndrome. Unless we are on the bus with other kids she fall asleep. Hopefully tomorrow will be no different. 

3ish hours to the Hong Kong airport then we catch a flight just before noon(midnight) for Chicago, go thru customs and immigration and then on to Pittsburgh. Once we land in Chicago. Bett-June will no longer be a citizen of China but an American citizen. And Hallelujah we will be almost home!

And that is all possible because we had our consulate appointment yesterday morning. My girl was dressed in red, white and blue for this monumental occasion. The appt itself is a tad anticlimactic. About 50 parents crowd around an officer behind a window and take an oath. Then we are called up one by one give them our paperwork folder, then go to the first window again and get fingerprinted again. Then you leave. That's it. No flag waving, no Star-Spangled Banner, no John Phillips Sousa, not even any John Denver. But it gets the job done. 

Last night she and I went on the Pearl River Cruise with our group. Ya, that was an experience. The food was authentic. How's that for PC. Some if it was really good. We had ice cream for dessert. It was purple. One if the other moms and I made a game of guessing the flavor. Sweet potato?  Corn? Turns out it was taro. Close enough. 

Chen Ancestral Hall

Below statue is called Suffering From Indolence

Our grocery stash!

Can only get brighter

So we finally left the orphanage. It should have taken between an 45 min and an hour to get back to the hotel. The most important word in that sentence is SHOULD. 

We got lost. Miko and the driver were both using their cell phone navigation to try to find the way back. I got to see old Huadu village. And by old Huadu village I mean narrow,narrow alleyways. We were in a minivan. The alleys were 1 minivan and 6 inches wide. We were list for over an hour. We did more u turns than a dozen scrabble games. And Betty-June slept the whole time!  Good times, good times. 

Let's see that was Thursday. Friday  morning we went to the Guangdong museum in the morning. It was ok but Betty-June tires pretty easy. 

Saturday she and I went to Shamain Island and did some shopping. Chinese taxi cabs are really fun. And by really fun I mean 'OH MY GOSH, ARE YOU FREAKING INSANE?'  It's not just a drive, it's a near death experience. 

The afternoon brought more paperwork. Want to feel stupid?  Answer this question:

What is the correct way to write the date?

A) September 19, 2014

B) 9/19/14

C) 19/9/14

D) 19/SEP/2014

Answer: it depends and no matter which way you write it there is a 75% chance you are wrong. 

And since I am here solo, Betty-June gets to go with me to these paperwork parties. Fortunately she is an angel and more patient than I deserve. 

Today we visited the pearl and jade market and Chen Ancestral Hall. 

Here are a few pictures from the last few days. 

Punjab: Buddha says "A child without courage is like a night without stars!" from Annie

Yesterday we visited Betty-June's FORMER orphanage. 

It was hard. From the moment my sweet girl woke up her countenance was downcast. All morning she was sad. 

Betty-June chose to wear the new dress she picked out at the mall. I know she was afraid I was going to leave her. I guess she wanted to make sure she at least had her new dress. I used the translator app to tell her. I was going to take her to my home to be my daughter forever. But she wasn't convinced. 

We met Miko, our guide at 1 for the 45 minute ride. Baby girl fell asleep in the van on the way there. 

When I woke her up she was still unsure. We went in and did the usual 'go to the conference room exchange pleasantries and exchange gifts'. They were very kind.  Her teacher brought in her workbooks for her to take with her. One nanny brought in a little girl I was checking  on for her mom-to-be. Them we went to see some important places to Betty-June.  Along the way we we met her two best friends. She just clung to me the whole time. One of the boys pleaded with me to find a family for him. He is seven and he has a repaired cleft lip and palate. His speech is effected but his mind is sharp. 

Here is his picture

He is Bart Simpson boy from Betty-June's birthday pictures 

He really, really wants a mama and baba. He also said he is a good big brother(guhguh). Break my heart much?

Then I got to meet  2 if their newest additions. 2 thal babies, a boy and a girl. The director said they were preparing their paperwork to make them available for adoption. She gave me their info and Miko is translating it for me. Here are there pictures. 

Baby boy looked so pale. There isn't a lot of color in his lips. 

Here is the girl

She looked better but oh my heart these kids!

When it was time to go Betty-June could not leave fast enough. 

It was a hard day, a very hard day. If you can walk thru an orphanage and hear the little voices begging, begging I tell you, for a family and not be moved, you my friend have no heart. 

After the visit we have turned a corner.  I'm not calling her Ling any more. She is no longer Liu Ling the orphan. I have started calling her Betty-JuneLing. Easing into just Betty-June. 

Adopting a 7 year old is a lot different than adopting a baby. Her fear and sorrow is so real, so palpable it blankets the whole experience. 

I promise a lighter post next time. 

So much to say. So little energy

The last 2 days have been really difficult for us. Medical appt and orphanage visit. Today I will share the medical visit. 

I left you last time as we were going to the required medical appt. Yikes. 

Everything started off just fine. 

She was playing with another little girl in our group. 

Had her vitals taken. 

Quick eye check. 

Then things got scary for me. We got to the part where they do an actual physical examination. The younger female dr started out just fine until she got to Betty-June's abdomen. She got a very serious look on her face and went for the older male dr. He checked her belly and asked me when her last transfusion was. When I told him Aug 4 his face went dark and he told me she needs a transfusion every month. Wel gee why didn't I think of that?  He wanted her hgb checked and thought she would need a transfusion before we left China. The hospital we would need to go to requires a 2-3 day stay in the PICU ward. And the worst part is, I could not go with her. 

It was a long night while I waited to find out her hgb. It was impossible to get a straight answer from our at home medical team regarding how low is too low to travel. IMPOSSIBLE. 

Dear Medical Community,

We all know no 2 cases are the same. We get it. But someone somewhere says normal hgb is between 11-15. Someone sets standards. Just say 'don't travel in a pressurized cabin with a hgb below X'. 

Her hgb level came back at 6. Not great by anyone's standard. But good enough I can say no thanks to transfusing her here.  

I felt a lot better after that. 

Next post will be about the orphanage visit. 

Introducing Miss Betty-June

Meeting your child at 3 pm is cruel. All day you fret and pace and you are expected to be able to fill our official paperwork. 

Don't I look like a big bundle of nerves?

When we got to Civil Affairs she was there waiting for me. 

I had tears running down my face like crazy. She was a beautiful stoic princess. 

It took a while but she did eventually smile. 

The required dum dum lollipop helped. 

There is a million dollar smile 

I brought her a Minnie Mouse of course. 

After all the excitement we came back to the hotel and went for Chinese food. 

We tried to call Dad after dinner but the video chat couldn't work because something was wrong with the wifi. That really bothered me. I miss the folks at home. And I wanted the sisters to meet each other. 

At breakfast this morning somehow it started working. 

Salted fish and peanut congee. I know, I know but she scraped the bowl clean!

After breakfast we came back to our room for an hour to play. 

Play doh was a big hit. 

Today was the official adoption appointment. What a looooong morning. I don't remember it taking so long. While waiting I met a couple from France and a couple from Australia adopting babies. 

Once we finally left we stopped at the market for some supplies then it was back to the room. 

Some families were going to McDs for lunch but we were dragging. We came back to the room for cup o noodles and Chinese kiddie shows. 

Tomorrow is the medical appt and applying for passport. But I will leave you with this face 

I have a lot if respect for that chicken

Up at 3:30am to face another day alone in Guangzhou. Watched some international TV

asianwiki.com/What_Happens_to_My_Family?_(Korean_Drama)

This is one thing I watched. It was odd but it beat America's Funniest Videos. 

I was able to video call my family. That was awesome. I miss them so much. I am not a loner! 

I was suppose to meet someone for breakfast but something must have came up because she didn't show up. So I had breakfast alone. BooHoo

It was time to leave the hotel. I needed to find a supermarket to get a few things. And I was able to do it !  In order to cross the street it involves going down to the subway and going UNDER the street. Yep I did it, yea me!  I was there 20 min before the mall opened so I sat in the square to wait. People watching !

By way of gender imbalance, while waiting I saw 5 boys, 4 girls and 2 infants. But this is in a major urban area the countryside. 

So the mall opens and I head up to the 4th floor where the groceries are. I wandered and perused the offerings. I wasn't sure what to get Betty-June for snacks and goodies. So I found a family with a 7ish year old girl and tried to notice what she asked for. Hopefully she had good taste! 

This is the awesome shower in my room. I.LOVE.IT

Courtyard by the mall

Mall front

7-11 selfie

Medallion on the ceiling of the lobby

Waterfall outside of 4th floor

Lobby

Water feature reflecting in mirrored escalator 

Blue skies